A waterfall is wonderful in Waziristan.

Overheard in:  Paulding

Student 1: My W key doesn’t work.

Student 2: Hit it harder.

Student 1: I will not abuse my keyboard for such a petty reason.

Futbol?

Overheard in:  Paulding

Student: THERE ARE TOO MANY GOALS NEAR MY GOLD.

Must be taking art history.

Overheard in:  Paulding

Student 1: I cannot believe I’m getting a grade to talk about this stupid stuff.

Student 2: This is serious business!

Student 1: It’s about a drunk guy!

 

So… wait what?

Overheard in:  Paulding

Student 1: So I walk over, and I said….

Student 2: What?

Student 1: Dude, when’s the paper due?

Student 2: Go back to sleep, dude.  You’re not even a student here.

I’m a shaaaaark!

Overheard in:  Cartersville

(New student and their mother in the Cartersville bookstore)

Student’s parent: Honey, do you want to go buy a fish?

 

Rawr.

Overheard in:  Unknown

(I really wish I had context for this.)

Student 1: Wait. Like hold up.  You are telling me that gas comes from dinosaurs!?  And coal!?  I’m a vegan, I can’t even drive my car now!?

Student 2: They’ve been dead for a really long time.  And you’re not vegan, you’re Catholic.

 

A pod? A herd? A coalition?

Overheard in:  Paulding

Student: What’s the plural of mustache?  Mustachi?

Also:

Student: What is a group of mustaches called?  I have all sorts of questions now…

 

Goes great with a two gallon tub of mustard.

Overheard in:  Unknown

(Guy is texting and walking next to a group of friends, suddenly stops dead.)

Student 1: Dude.  There is a five pound bag of pretzels at Costco.  I’ve gotta go.

Student 2:  Wait, what?

(Student 1 literally runs from the building, and then peels out of the parking lot.)

It could have been way worse, and on the teacup ride.

Overheard in: Paulding

(A female student sitting in the back of a classroom, texting.  This is the first day of class.  Suddenly stands up.)

Student 1:  Oh my god.  I have to go.  My sister’s kid just puked on Pluto at Disney World.  I will never let her hear the end of this.

(Runs out of the classroom, and is never seen again.)

Australia has always been a little off.

Overheard in: Cartersville

Student:  Look, man, all I’m saying is that she look like a kangaroo when she was trying to hug me.  Don’t ask how, she just did.  So now I’m single again.